It's hard for me to be vulnerable

I'm not going to waste time: It's hard for me to be vulnerable. I'm not entirely sure why I struggle with this, but here's a few thoughts as to why.

As I've discussed in previous blog posts, athletics have always played a significant role in my life, and in this context, vulnerability is frequently portrayed as weak and is discouraged in favor of a "tough skin." Particularly in hockey where foul language and personal insults were frequently exchanged, vulnerability allowing these insults to be taken personally coulee been detrimental.

I think my relationships and the people I've surrounded myself with in the past have largely influenced my ability and willingness to be vulnerable. As someone who has spent a lot of time around other athletes, I can easily see how the mentality from athletics has carried over into my personal life, again causing me to put up a front to vulnerability. Today, I've surrounded myself with friends very different than many of those I grew up with: my friends today are significantly more encouraging of vulnerability as their life experiences have shown the value this can add in one's life. Although vulnerability opens the door to both highs and lows in life, the net impact can be tremendously positive when you allow emotional relationships into your everyday life. This is something I consciously work on everyday, but I believe persistent attention to vulnerability can be extremely beneficial to happiness and fulfillment.

The Evolution of Values: From Sports to Today

As someone heavily involved with organizations and surrounded by people who are very aware of their values, I would like to believe that living authentically comes somewhat naturally to me. But while self awareness is fundamental to understanding your values, living life in accordance with your values is a challenge every single person is faced with day in and day out.

Growing up, my life was dominated by athletics: hockey, golf, baseball, soccer. I credit a lot of my early personal development and teamwork abilities directly to athletics as I was constantly being pushed to work harder, think faster, and perform at a higher level, all with goal of winning. The many hours of practices at the ice rink, all buckets of balls hit at the driving range, and hundreds of batting practice at-bats instilled in me from a very young age the importance of a strong work ethic, and to this day, I believe one of my biggest values is my willingness to outwork anyone.

Golf has always held a slightly more personal spot in my life than any other sport I've played because my dad was the one who taught me to play at a young age and to this day, there are very few things I'd rather do than walk 18 holes of golf with my dad on any given afternoon. Golf has been a means by which my dad has taught me many important life lessons, but non more important than to value honesty above all else. As someone who played in competitive golf tournaments beginning at the age of 10, I was constantly presented with the responsibility of fairly counting all my strokes on the golf course, even when nobody else was around. I would be lying if I said I was perfect in meeting this expectation, but by dad was instrumental in helping me balance my drive to win and outwork my competitors with my person value of honesty. As I mentioned above, athletics taught me many life lessons, but none is more fundamental than honesty.

Over the past 5 semesters at Ohio State, I've learned a lot about what studying business actually entails and the life a business degree will afford me in the years to come. In this journey, I've consciously made decisions to not pursue some of the most lucrative, yet competitive industries out there. While this may seem like a relatively simple decision, it's extremely difficult for me to back down from a challenge; after all, my years of athletics taught me to rise to every occasion. In making the decision not to pursue investment banking, believe me I considered it, I reverted back to an extremely elementary yet fundamental value in my life: balance. Would working 100+ hours per week all my to allocate time to follow my personal passions and remain diligent in my relationships? I'm going to venture out on a limb and say no. Of the many career paths a degree in finance can provide me, I'm being careful to do my best to live authentically and uphold balance in my life.

One of the many opportunities athletics gave me to bond with my dad: The picture below is of my dad and I on the Canadian side of Niagara Falls in February when I played a hockey tournament in the area. There were no less than 2 inches of ice covering everything and I was a bit chilly...

An Introverted Afternoon Amidst a Time of Extroversion

I would like to start off this post by first saying I'm glad Susan Cain found the courage to speak up on behalf of introverts because her Ted Talk provides a necessary voice to challenge the existing mentally towards the structure of both education and the workforce. As someone who scores moderately extroverted on personality tests, I tend to overlook some of my underlying introverted tendencies, but Susan's talk got me thinking about the importance of time alone to think independently.

Since coming to Ohio State, I have succumbed to the extroverted group mentality, sometimes at the expense of my personal freedom of thought, and while I cannot ignore the developments in my life that have resulted from collaboration with others, I do wonder what would happen if more students, including myself, spent more time away from groups.

Before watching Susan Cain's Ted Talk this afternoon, I spent 2 hours walking around the streets of Upper Arlington with a few fraternity brothers passing out bags for a canned food drive. As I walked these quiet, suburban streets, I had time to reflect on the many elements of life every college student attempts to balance. In particular, I found myself thinking a lot about my aspirations for a summer internship and a job after graduation and the impact my career choice will have on my personal life. As someone who is currently pursuing positions in both Chicago and Washington DC for this coming summer, the serenity of my afternoon walk challenged me to consider the value I place on my pace of life. Despite potentially falling subject to stereotypes, I consider life as a recent graduate in a big city to be one significantly more influenced by groups and better suited for extroverts and a life in the suburbs to be more independently oriented.

Just as Susan Cain talks about finding a balance in education and the workplace to accommodate both introverts and extroverts, I wonder if I'll find balance in my life this summer and after graduation necessary to express both my extroverted and introverted traits. Without the simultaneous expression of both characteristics, groups and individuals lose the ability to be both individually creative and collectively collaborative, a major detriment to everyone associated.

The Essence of Integrity

I must say that I was very happy to learn we'd be watching the Dead Poet's Society last week in class as this is one of my favorite movies deemed valuable in an educational setting. But as I watched the movie last week and contemplated the question of integrity posed to us, some of subtleties of the film became more evident than in times past.

As if knowing the days he had to make an impact on his students was limited, Mr. Keating always presented himself with a smile, presumably to, as he put it, seize the day. Why, one might ask, does a man who desired his students to push the boundaries, change the perspective through which they view the world, and seize the day choose to teach at Welton, a place founded on the principles of tradition, honors, discipline, and excellence? In my opinion, Mr. Keating's decision hinges on his ability to empathize with students at "Helton" and his own integrity.

As a graduate of Welton himself, Mr. Keating relates to students better than other teachers using both his class material and outside-the-classroom interactions, such as introducing the Dead Poet's Society.
Despite having a firm grasp of Welton's teaching methodology and expectations, Mr. Keating demonstrates his integrity by educating his students according to his personal values and is not compromised by differences from Welton's.

My Single Story Fraternity

As the Ted Talk we watched in class this highlighted, our opinions of others are often shaped by a single experience or encounter. While many of us recognize the wrongdoings associated with judging others, remaining impartial and free of bias is extremely difficult to do. I am no exception to this rule: In fact, the notion I have of a group of individuals today couldn't be more opposite from my opinion of them formed after one night in April of 2013.

As an intramural ice hockey referee, this night was the culmination of a long spring semester of many evenings spent at the OSU ice rink from 9pm-2am, sometimes later. 3 weeks of playoffs brought us down to 2 teams playing in the championship game in Nationwide Arena. Immediately following the Blue Jackets game this night, the final 2 teams in the beginner ice hockey playoffs faced off for the most prestigious trophy at Ohio State: the Rec Sports intramural champion t-shirt.

Although I had refereed both of these throughout the regular season an even into the playoffs and knew what to expect from them, the same was not true for the people they brought with them: One team brought no less than 100 fans to the game that night, all of whom were on their absolute best behavior (or not so much). They certainly had fun as they cheered their team to victory that night, but I my opinion differed slightly: To me, this team and their fans were obnoxious, arrogant, and cocky.

A year a half later, I now call many of the men on that hockey team (who haven't graduated) my best friends and brothers in Sigma Phi Epsilon, and now see the fun they had that night from a completely different perspective. Although the crowd at the hockey game that night was obnoxious by any standard, I now understand the pride they take in their intramural sports and can laugh at my initial opinions.

Steve Jobs

Although our university, country, and society are led by many individuals, analyzing these individuals for strong leadership characteristics presents an interesting question: which of them are actually strong leaders?

In my eyes, Steve Jobs stands above many in his leadership abilities, not because he founded Apple and led the company to years of success and prosperity, but because of the person he was and the manner in which he led others. By no means was Steve Jobs the ideal leader, however, he possessed many admirable traits aspiring leaders like ourselves can take note of.

When Apple releases new products, they have a Keynote presentation - one in which leaders of the firm talk about major achievements and introduce new products to developers and consumers. As the lead presenter or host of these Keynote presentations, Jobs was able to influence a great deal of consumers using extremely minimalistic slides and relying entirely on his charisma and ability to excite others to create demand for Apple's latest and greatest products. We see this again with Job's 2006 Stanford commencement speech in which he told three seemingly unrelated stories from his life and concluded with "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." Such a simple statement, yet it continues to be extremely influential to many today, including myself.

Jobs was also very passionate about the excellence of his work. Many instances have been documented in which he would angrily yell in employee's faces for mediocre results. He would tolerate nothing less than perfection, and while this can definitely be viewed in a negative light, the result was a brand known for the highest quality products.

Job's was a unique leader and is an extremely interesting individual to study further, but above all, his ability to be his authentic self and infuse his personality into Apple have left an impact for years to come.

A little about me

My name is Patrick Goth and I was born and raised a Buckeye. After graduating high school, I was destined to move down Lane Avenue from Upper Arlington to campus where I’m currently a junior studying finance and economics that seeks a little balance in life with a leadership studies minor.

People are without doubt the most important element of my life, and I believe the relationships I make and maintain will be more beneficial than a degree could ever be. I learn everyday from my family, friends, fraternity brothers, classmates, and coworkers, and firmly believe in maintaining and giving to as many relationships as I can possibly balance. My family – mom, dad, 10-year-old sister, Elizabeth, and our 2 golden retrievers, Maggie and Tucker – are the rocks in my life, and as I spend more time away from home, I’m finding additional rocks to add to my collection. Definitely a good thing as I continue along this path we call life. I wish I actually collected rocks.

Using my skills and giving my time to others is one of the most rewarding things I know of, and so I’ve become an active participant on Buck-i-SERV trips and also am heavily involved with Scarlet & Gray Financial, a free peer-financial coaching service for students here at Ohio State. Although I’m at Ohio State to learn skills for my career such as critical thinking, problem solving, and communication, I aim to always share the skills I’m fortunate enough to possess with others. Thankfully, my fraternity, Sigma Phi Epsilon, has allowed me to surround myself with many likeminded individuals who challenge me to always improve myself and give more to others every day.

I travelled to Europe for 20 days in 8^th grade without my parents as a People to People Student Ambassador, and have since loved exploring new places and meeting new people. I went to Cape Town, South Africa this past May for 2 weeks and had the time of my life (see picture below), and I am actively looking around for my next adventure this coming May. I still haven’t made it to South America, Asia, or Australia yet, so if you have stories or places to go, please share them with me!

I’ve played ice hockey since I was 3 years old and have gone through serious withdrawal since graduating high school, but I love playing and watching every sport out there, so I’ve found some consolation in taking my talents to the intramural courts, field, and rinks whenever possible. I promise I’m not under contract with Rec Sports, but if you haven’t already played intramural ice hockey, you need to sign up this winter (including the ladies)! I promise it’ll be the best hour of your week this winter!

As I read over this, I’m realizing how difficult the question “who am I?” is to answer, and so I only hope I’ve given you all the beginning of me and my story. I’m excited to say this is the smallest class I’ve been in 3 years at Ohio State as I look forward to getting to know you all this semester! Go Bucks!